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Last weekend—almost two years later to the day—Jaime and Joe were married.Even when you suspect you’ve found The One, it’s totally normal for couples to go on a break (or even break up, like Jaime and Joe) and eventually rekindle the romance.“I think it can be really healthy to separate, have some life experiences, date other people, go to grad school,” she says.“When you are ready, you’ll probably think of that person first.”Therapists can list many benefits of going on a break: It’s a chance to rediscover yourself, build appreciation for your significant other (the whole “you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone” thing), and ultimately strengthen your relationship. Chances are the boundaries of what you’re comfortable with will be different from your partner, so it’s important to hash these things out from the beginning, says Matt Lundquist, a clinical social worker in New York.

Use “I” statements, for example, “I feel like there’s a lot going on in my life right now, and I can’t be as involved as I’d like to be in this relationship.” Next, consider working with your partner to lay some ground rules.

It felt like the start of something serious, until she sensed Joe pulling away. “My ego was a little bruised, but I always tried to sense whether there was still something there,” Jaime says.

“And that literally went on for seven years.” Then, Joe was named to ’s 40 Under 40 list and Jaime—who was just named to the list herself—took the opportunity to make a move by sending a friendly (but carefully crafted) congratulatory email.

Jaime and Joe had one of those summertime romances that only exist in New York, filled with drinks that turn into lengthy dinners, evenings out with friends, and even trips to the gym that somehow still felt incredibly romantic. It was the quintessential “it’s not you, it’s me” speech.

But for Jaime, who was a late 20-something working in public relations at the time, the relationship wasn’t just a summer fling. It wasn’t easy, but it was a fairly clean break, except for the fact that they both worked in PR and inevitably bumped into each other at industry events.




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