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She was a few minutes late, and the server who filled two glasses with water seemed to know I was on a date. For days, I enjoyed my new apartment, all on my own. By that evening, I felt desperate to get out and be social.

I continued to bounce from place to place into adulthood. My new roommate, a stranger I’d met on Craigslist, got sick as soon as I arrived and went to her mom’s house in the south suburbs. One morning I woke up and wished I had someone to talk to.

If you’ve ever found yourself yearning for a friend’s ex, you know that it’s a precarious situation to navigate.

All good friends like to believe in the mantras of “mates before dates,” and “sisters before misters,” but sometimes, the possibility for a true love connection is hard to ignore.

The thing is, I haven't told my friend because I don't know how she is going to react.

For one thing, he is younger, and even though we are both adults (he's 20, I'm 25), people tend to think it's weird when the woman is significantly older than the man.

But every once in a while, the universe speaks to a person and lets him know that, although it seems wrong at first, there might be a bigger reason your friend dated this person in the first place – maybe it was to connect the two of you, instead.

I have known him for years and he's significantly younger, so until recently I never thought of him that way.

One day my friend was out and I ended up spending the whole day with her brother and it just kind of ... Since then, we've been spending as much time together as possible, and texting whenever we can't see each other.

It was just me and the sidewalks and subways of Chicago, testing each other out. But I hadn’t considered that parking would be expensive, and I was broke from all those coffee shop cappuccinos.

I ended up crying, driving home and skipping the show.

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But the user records laid bare by hackers last week tell a very different story: Of the more than 35 million records released, only 5 million — a mere This discrepancy may be the smoking gun that proves something angry users, industry insiders and government watchdogs have alleged for some time: that when it comes to reporting their own user numbers, paid-dating sites distort, manipulate … “Ashley Madison has paid people to write profiles, and they’ve allowed fake profiles to proliferate on their site,” said David Evans, an industry consultant who has contracted with Ashley Madison in the past and has tracked the business of online dating since 2002. That’s not news.” It may be news, however, to the legions of paying online daters who have treated tales of “date bait” as message-board apocrypha — and not as a tangible, industry-wide practice that they themselves have encountered.

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